I can’t lie, I’m upset. Even when I see the best in me, affirm and soothe the rest of me, somehow that’s not “enough”. Shit is tough when you lose the ones you trust cause you bruise and fuck it up when your mood it won’t keep up just to prove you see longevity. Often I’m on some let it be, negative thoughts you let em’ free, fuck it I’ll find a better we, maybe I’m just done settling. This real-life shit makes me see things differently. People dying left and right, few friends left in sight, the Black man dead to rights, haunts me every night! I hate it here, but fuck those fears of love and care, I’m stuck it’s clear, it’s UP when WE’RE. That’s WE! And don’t you see neglectful patterns? Blood is splattered, hearts get shattered, families grieve; collectives matter! I started to pray more. Therefore, I put my faith in something higher.

The shit I used to admire, was useless twisted desire, I pivot just to acquire, the blessings earned through the fire; no longer living in hell's fate. I’m done with negativity, no longer will you trigger me, the ego I’d pretend to be, replaced with greater energy! I can’t lie. I’m still upset! Even when I see the best in me, affirm, and soothe the rest of me, somehow I know collectively, we’re better than we’ll ever be–cause we, matter.
 

2021